DON'T EAT POO AGAIN, TRAIN YOURSELF TO WORK.

I have mentored so many people, Imagine a poor man like me who could hardly afford to pay his rent helping confused Nigerian folks find their feet through training and advice.

In Europe and some other places, people leave their jobs in the civil service and banks to train as plumbers. You will see a plumber who will tell you that he was working with a renowned investment bank a few years ago. You see graduates leave their white collar jobs to train as bricklayers, electricians, roofers etc. Many times in the past I have wished I trained as a carpenter because I saw how the engineers respect Arjen the Albanian and other Australian carpenters doing the lift shaft shuttering in one of our project in London. All I wanted to be at the time was a chippy. They earned so much money and lived like kings during the weekends.

You see thousands of young Nigerians roaming the streets of Obodo oyibo aimlessly instead of going to learn a trade. A Nigerian "guyman" is the one that doesn't wake up at 5:30am, wear safety boots,helmet and go to work. That kind of job is reserved for the "jewmen". The guy man sits in front of his laptop all day waiting for maga to pay. Inbetween the wait,he comes to Facebook to support APC, PDP or IPOB. He vents his anger on his perceived enemies in Nigeria and their supporters. He then call his Babalawo contact. Baba said hin go chop persin shit before maga go drop. He complains to Baba that Oyibo people no dey shit for bush. "Baba where I go see shit chop nah? Oyibo dey flush their shit for wc toilet. Dey no dey shit for bush". Baba may consult his shrine, change his mind and ask him to go and eat rotten food in a bin as the sacrifice to the shrine.

One guyman in the UK dey yab me the other day say hin na car washer wey turn to scaffolder. That I am the original sufferhead. A scaffolder in the UK earns between £18-£26 per hour. No scaffolder will wait for Baba's instruction to go and eat someone's poo, no scaffolder will turn to an APC vuvuzela in the hope that he will one day end up like Lauretta Onochie.

December is fast approaching and guyman would eat more poo and probably hammer. He would go straight to Nigeria to kiss those girls waiting for him, desperate for Abroadian men. That same mouth guyman used to munch countless strangers poo.

Brother,go and train as a scaffolder! E go make you no dey chop shit! Or better still learn a trade!

WRITTEN BY; Mbe Nwaniga